100,000,000 Apologies.... ~Taylor~

Hey... Soo.... Um, words really can't explain what a terrible blogger I am. No one follows this blog, that's obvious. But a lot of people view it who don't follow it, trust me, I've checked. And, I haven't posted... in like... a year... Or something like that. So, I apologize. If I'm remembering correctly, the last post I wrote was when Jessica was leaving for her vacation. So, when she left.. I spent two weeks not writing. Then I guess I just got in the habit of not doing it, and when school came around, I was tired, busy, and stressed. So I just quit..


But.


Maybe, I could write a little more often?


You'll forgive me right?


Oh yeah.


I'm talking to no one.


Except for the LURKERS. WHO JUST LURK.





Isn't it a great thing?:)


Yeah, it is. I'm so happy! I'm gonna CRY!




We should catch up, huh?


You know,
now that we're all forgiven, and everything.


Well. There's not much to catch up on, really. With school in session, me and Jess haven't made any Tejor videos.
I know.

Don't be polite. I know that's what you're thinking. Anyways, we're still up to stupid shit.
Like, a few days ago, we made a dance video to "Talk Dirty To Me" and umm... I guess you can guess how that turned out. Let's just say, I'm not posting it. We've been baking cakes, and playing tag with stranger children on the playgrounds. Oh yeah, and we made a retarded-ass dance to "Who Owns My Heart" by Miley Cyrus.

OH YEAH.

Let's talk about what's been going on in the media!

Miley Cyrus, for instance. Well, it's not my place to judge, but, we all know that the trait "judgy" is in my blood. I think that Miley is free to be who she wants to be. Who cares if she cut off all of her beautiful, luscious, cascading, astonishing, magnificent, remarkable, peppered brown, wavy, hipster, grungey hair. (okay. I care about that part.)
But, as she has said like a million times, Hannah Montana was a character she played, not herself. Let's be honest. Do any of us teen-agers ever get together and end up not twerking?
HAHAHAHA. NO.


Even Ash twerks.
So no, no judging on that. But... Ahh... "Queen  of twerk"....?


NOPE.

I DERNT. THERNK. SER.

Just because she made some weird video of her twerking in a bunny suit, doesn't mean like.. anything. Like at all.
Jessica is better at twerking than her.
JESSICA.
So that sums up that.
Okay so, I'm gonna search random images and paste one on here to give me something to rant about.


 


I believe it a hundred percent.

Well, I have to go build a fort with some kids. And bake another cake.




+



=





Whelp.


BYEEEEE:)

Oh yeah. I'm supposed to end this with a quote.

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.  ~Dion Boucicault

There we go.

BYEEEEE:)

~Taylor

OMG I'M BORED. ~Taylor~

Hey guys!

     My days have been so freaking boring. Jessica is visiting her aunt, in a completely different state. And after that she's most likely going to her brother's for two weeks. So. I'm doomed.
That means no more TeJor videos for awhile.. *sigh*
OKAY WILL YOU ALL JUST PRETEND THAT YOU ARE UPSET ABOUT THAT. PLEASE.

And, I'm going to a camp for 10 days. So, I won't be posting for a while.
So I might as well make this one last.
Since Jessica, nothing (as far as TeJor) has been going on lately.
So I guess I'm backing to ranting on and on with no direction..
Hmmm. I haven't done this in awhile :/ My more recent posts have had more to do with things that actually happened.
OH GAWD THIS BLOG IS TURNING INTO A JOURNAL. I PROMISE I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN ANYMORE.

Hmm, I need to pick a topic...
ehh..
Aweh. Whenever I see that word 'ehh' I think of my deceased fishy. Even though Ehhh had three 'h's.

WOAH. I just thought of something.
When I get back from that camp thing I told you about, I'm going to have a lot of facebooking to do.
Anyways.

AHHHHAAHHAHAHA. 

That was good. 

DAMN. THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE. IT'S MIND BOGGLING. 

Before I looked at this picture, I didn't really notice the difference between boob enlargements and real boobs and what not. Now I do.

I'm just gonna put up random funny pictures until I think of something to talk about.

Yes. Because 'Surprise Adoption' is SOOOO much more accurate. 

Okay I partly love this photo because the kid is Asian, and he reminds me of my future children. 

And there is also the fact that the text reminds me of a certain episode of Charlie the Unicorn. And if you haven't seen those videos, you need to now.

These videos were all the rage in my childhood. 

(this is the third one, there are others you can watch. I put this one up because it's the one that reminds me of that picture. You'll see why when you get to that part)

The next best videos were the Llamas With Hats videos..

I really don't understand WHY. But. uh. Here you go, just in case you haven't seen it. And, those odds are slim. Because everyone has seen these videos.

Along with the girl that ate her own tampon. But.. uhh. We're not going to talk about that.

Hope you enjoyed that. I know I didn't. 

Nowww let's get back on track.. Not that there ever was a.. track..

uhh... okay. 

AHHHHHAAA... OH MY GOD. THAT WAS GOOD. 

\

And this just... ahh.. 

what.

WHAT.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Hate it when that happens.

D'awww.. :'(

LOOK AT IT.

....

Anyways. I'm really tired.. ridiculously tired.. 

Sooo I gotta gooo.

But this probably won't be the last post for ten days.

Jut one of the next few posts you'll have before not any for ten days.

If that makes sense.

Hope that made you laugh!!

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter"

- e.e. cummings 

Byeee :)

~T

FINALLY! ~Taylor~

Jessica and I finally made our first official TeJor video.

And no, we did not use any of the ideas we had floating around in our heads for MONTHS, that we spent endless amounts of time brainstorming about. This is how our ridiculous simplicity of a choice was made.

Me: *walks into Jessica's house, Jessica is laying on a recliner* I want to make a movie. Today. 

Jessica: Lets make fun of preppy girls.

Me: Okay.

That. Is. Just. Retarded. 

Anyways, we soon went over to my house, and she spent QUITE a while putting on eternal layers of make-up. When I saw my face, I had the natural instinct to run from the mirror. 

We went to Jessica's, organized what we would say, and gathered our props. Then we just did it. 

We didn't have a script. Most of it was improv, which is probably why its is so stupid. But it makes us laugh, and I really don't know if it will be funny (at all) to the rest of the world. But I guess I'll find out.

Watch this shit now. 

Yeah... I am so embarrassed. And I feel like putting it all over the internet is a huge mistake. But you know. Memories. 

Gawd I know this is gonna bite me in the ass. Maybe tomorrow, maybe when I'm trying to find a job. Who knows. The fact that I know it's a mistake while I'm posting it just makes me that much more of an idiot. So I'm gonna sign off. IF YOU LIKE IT PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOU TUBE CHANEL. CAN YOU TELL WE ARE DESPERATE YET?

jkjk. 

But seriously. Subscribe.

And for the few of you that actually read this blog, please comment on what you think of the video. Even if you're a hater. We need your input, (if it's the truth.)

Andddd if you're just being a hater to hate on shit, well. then. I hate you. 

Buuuu Byeee 

"Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them."

-Bob Dylan

~T

Shopping.. I guess... ~Taylor~

I apologize for not posting very often anymore. But the truth is, everything has been pretty boring. And there wasn't anything to post about. But then me and Jessica decided to deal with our boredom, anddd... We went shopping.

We basically grabbed everything we saw and took it to the dressing rooms... 

And it turned out like this:

 Jessica's "insane party dress"

 Jessica and I, in our insane party dresses

 Jessica posing like a boss in her insane party dress

Jessica's new Madame Tibeau dress

 Me and Jessica in our "New York" party dresses

 Jessica posing in a skirt she thought "suited her personality"

 .... I don't know..

 I don't know for this one either...

HAHA! I just noticed there is a random baby in the background :3

Yeahhh... We had a GREAT time!

Later, we went to her sister's and stayed up literally all night long watching Pretty Little Liars, and that show is freaking ADDICTING. And so is Omegle. 

It is okay. That's what we did all night long. I mean, we didn't even talk to each other. It was ridiculous. 

Now we are watching finding Nemo.

And we have decided that every time Dory says Nemo's name wrong, we will have a child named after it. So far we have Chico, Fabio, Elmo, Bingo, and Harpo. Poor kids. We're just setting them up for a bad life. It's all Dory's fault. 

Anyways, we are also babysitting. And Jessica won't shut up about me making an Instagram. 

Sooo, I'm off to make an Instagram.

"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid."

-John Wayne

~T

Me And Jessica Have Started A Revolution. ~Taylor~

Okay, so, ever since Jessica and I bought fish, my mother has been obsessing over the entire species. And last week, she decided to take me out to a whole other town, so that we could buy some plants. To put in a fish tank. It was not my idea. In fact, I thought it was retarded, because on these little animals that are fragile as paper, and don't even last a month, we had already spent like 200 dollars. -.-

SHE NEVER SPENDS 200 DOLLARS ON ME, AND I WILL LAST A LIFE TIME.

AND THEN. She saw that TALL ass fish tank, was like "oooh can you imagine how many fishies we could fit int THERRREEE??!!!" 0.0

And I was like "god dammit mom no."

And she was like "yesssss"

So now, we have this HUMUNGO fish tank, and seven fish.

     And we've spent almost FIVE HUNDRED dollars on them! We don't have money for that, but, apparently it's worth it for the fish.
kay. Let me tell you about how much of a pain in the ASS these fish are.
We have to clean the tank out once a week, and buy new filters all of the time. The first one didn't even work, because we put it in wrong. But technically, that wasn't our fault. Because the tank didn't come come with any instructions and we didn't know which way to put the cartridge in the filter. So Jessica just chose a side to face the water, BASED ON FINDING. NEMO.
COME. ON.
And that is probably why so much shit was constantly floating around in there. But we figured that out, we cleaned the tank, and we put new filters in. We fed them three times a day. And we even had plants in there for oxygen. We had enough room for the fish to swim in. We put the fishy cleaner in the water. We did EVERYTHING. But apparently, all of that still wasn't enough for those greedy little fishies. And now, Ceelo is dead. Yeah. Our precious Ceelo. Dead. And that really sucks, because in the SHORT time he was alive, he became my favorite fish. Probably because he was really stupid, and he had huge buggy eyes. But still. I felt so bad for him. And in the end, I could tell he was sick. Because he was swimming sideways and floating into the wall. But there was nothing I could do. So I just fed him and tried to take care of him. But in the morning, he had turned a sick color of brown. And was floating on his side on the top of the tank. His limp little body was resting on a leaf, that was also floating on the top of the tank. And no, I didn't pick some kind of toxic plant and accidentally put it in the tank, because a fish expert picked it out.
This. is. freaking. ridiculous.
Buying fish was a mistake. One, because they are a colossal waste of money, and two, because they never fail to disappoint me.

WHY GOD WHY.

So, now, everyone is obsessed with fish. But it is just irritating to me now.. UGHHH. JUST UGH.

And Jessica, she is obsessed with fish movies. (don't ask me) Like Finding Nemo. And. FREAKING. JAWS. JAWS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

So now we are just sitting in my living room watching Jaws.

And it is actually pretty entertaining, because Jessica is an extremist. And with everything that happens in this movie, she reacts like a polar bear just ate a dolphin. 

I don't understand why I ever even wanted the fish.. I'm a cat person. I guess I thought the fish were cute, but now they are starting to gross me out the way swim around in their tank, and just dwell in their shit... it's just gross okay? 

I like cats. And Jessica knows that, which is why she should have never taken me to a farmer store yesterday. Where they have all KINDS of cats. -.- 

And I found this one little guy... I love him so much.. :'( But I can't have him, because I already have a kitty. But I don't like my kitty. She is so stupid and annoying, she doesn't like to cuddle she likes to be afraid of everything and sprint for the hills whenever she hears a door open. 

But the kitty at the store was so playful, and he loved to hold onto me and chew on my jacket. He was the loudest purrer and his face smelt AMAZING. 

And he was hilarious! He would just dive around on the floor and crash his head into the ground, and then literally just stay there doing a hand stand. I mean, I didn't even know that was possible. I am going to make Jessica come with me to that store every day until he's adopted. And when he is adopted, I am going to cry. I will cry because I am happy he found a home, but I will cry because I will miss him soooo bad :'( 

That's muyy babbeeyyyy

I love him so much!

Well, I gotta go make Jess come with me to see muy babeeyy <3

*touchy quote which I don't feel like looking for right now because there really wasn't a theme for this post*

-me

~T

Omg, I'm clairvoyant. ~Taylor~

Okay, so, by the title of this post you know what it is going to to be about. Jessica doesn't agree with me at all, because she doesn't believe in anything supernatural at all. But I do! And we all know that :P

A while back, I had some of my friends convinced that I was psychic. And then, later, I had myself convinced too..
But now I understand it all.
Clairvoyance isn't even technically mythological. The word, 'clairvoyant' is french. 'Clair' for clear, and 'voyant' for vision. It translates into "The one who sees clearly". I have terrible eye sight, but this obviously isn't talking about that.
Okay, so when you guys were little did you play that online game called Poptropica? I did. And to tell you the truth, that game is so freaking addicting, that I started playing it again about a week ago.
Anyways. They have all these new islands. And one of them is called "Zomberry Island"
And, I'm obsessed with the zombie apocalypse, so, I decided to do that one first. You can tell by the title of the island, that it has something to do with berries. Also, there are berries all over the island. In the tunnels, and apartments, there is a berry smoothie shop too. So right off the bat I guessed it was some kind of contaminated berry that started the zombie island. And yes. I know. It was really obvious. But before I had one clue. I mean I never even got one. clue. 
I was like "I bet it's the blueberries,"
And then, the end of the game comes. And guess what fruit it is? IT'S THE FREAKING BLUEBERRIES.
Lol. I guess that isn't to impressive. But what I'm trying to say is that I figure out random minor things all of the time in a freaky manor. Not like the smart people do, or the people that study human behavior. I mean like... ehh. How do I even explain it?

Being clairvoyant is being able to gather information about a person, object, or event.
It is not psychic. You cannot tell the future. Technically it isn't magical or mystical at all.

Anyways. Just. Just Google it okay? This is stressing me out.

*crystal meth.

Hahaha I don't know about that... It probably just drove them to insanity. 

I know that because I don't have that many examples for you, (and you don't know if the examples I did give are real.... they are. Just saying) 99.9% of you aren't going to believe me. But. There is no way you can convince me otherwise. It's impossible. Well. I really didn't know what to blog about, so I blogged about this. And it has probably been really boring to you. Sorry :/ 

I've been really bored, and I can't think of anything to ramble about.

I played hide and seek in the dark again... But this time it was more terrifying than fun... I was separated from anyone.. and I couldn't see anything. Plus there were some people there that weren't in our group.. and it just.. ugh.. It's still my favorite game. :3 

I don't understand why, because I don't understand why I love it if it just scares the crap out of me, therefore I do not understand myself. 

I'll try to blog about something more interesting before this day ends. I'm just to tired now to think of something you actually want to hear. :P

"Maybe life is random, but I doubt it."
- Steven Tyler

:3

~T

Memes Are The Best ~Taylor~

     Okay so, today was nice and relaxing. I was chilling with some friends the entire time.
Jessica was at home, so of course we were texting. And then she just started sending me all these memes. And yeah, everyone knows that memes are great and hilarious. But it's sooo much different when they're personal!! :D
(She was making them)

Here are some ;)

Okay, so my narcissistic friend is in love with himself. He is constantly commenting on how great his body is, and how he is "soooo good looking."

So. People like to tell him otherwise. :) Just for fun though hahahah 

So she made this. And he was actually pretty pissed off for a while, and isolated himself from the rest of us. 

  

 And this.. well.. Okay. First let me give you a very brief explanation of who Madame Tabeau is. 

On my 13th birthday party, all of my best friends were all coming to my house and were going to stay the night. 

Jessica had never met them, and wanted to make a... "grand" entrance. 

So. She set herself up in my room, siting on a towel, wearing an Eeyore onsie, and a floral bikini over that. She was wearing two hippy scarves. One around her neck, and one over her face. She sat and creepily strummed her guitar in the dimly lit room, with a pot of steaming potato soup in front of her, along with some cups filled with steaming water. The cups spelled out "dream".

After singing "Kumbaya" in a.. terrifying sense.. She told them of their future. As my horrified friends huddled in the corner and nodded yes to everything she said, she took off her face scarf. Under it, was so much bronzer that her face was the color of the sun, and she had traced the edges of her lips and nostrils with eye-liner... And let's not forget the drawn on eyebrows... 

Anyways. After this. She introduced herself as Madame Tabeau, an expert psychic who could surely predict anyone's future correctly. And that is exactly. What she did. She started to lightly strum her guitar, with her head hung over it. You couldn't see her face anymore. Then, like a gun shot in a tank, rang out her insanely loud, shrill voice. Screaming "DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! ..... I see death.."

They will never get over that. They were scared shitless. 

Anywho, that's who Madame Tabeau is. However, I don't really understand the meme. 

She's just.. She's Jessica.. 

Jessica has a fear of penises. Even though she's never seen one. I do not understand this at all.

Once when Jessica and I were annoying her mom out of her mind, she (being Jessica's mom)

plopped down on the floor, rolled over and said, "Oh god I probably look like a friggin wyrus,"

(Meant to say walrus. I still think it's hilarious, and prefer "wyrus" over "walrus". 

I told her I would be home at six... and then... 

She Just.. She worries me sometimes.

Those are only a few of the many memes she sent me. But the others are to personal. Plus I highly doubt you care :P

Okay well I hope you enjoyed that.. Hehehe :3

Well. I'm closing off this post :)

"I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are."

- Diane Von Furstenberg

 I agree with this quote 100%

However. 

I couldn't disagree with this one more. 

"Imagination, the supreme delight of the immortal and immature, should be limited. In order to enjoy life, we should not enjoy it to much."

- Vladimir Nabokov 

*cough this guy cough was a cough cough complete idiot cough*

Byeeee :)

~T